Question 1223


That I love the boy.

He came into my life when I was least expecting it, when I was not really looking. It was my eldest sister, Jing, who introduced him to me. It was not love at first sight, like the last time. It was more of like “Really? Him? Oh…kay.”

It was not long before he finally moved in to live with me. There was no objection from the rest of my family. Thank God. They welcomed him as if he were a prodigal son, able to finally find his way back home. He and my siblings hit it off right away. Imagine my relief.

Living with him was great. Or at least, for one year, it was. He was so effortlessly adorable and sweet. I remember having several bouts of emotional breakdown then and, strangely, the boy would not so much care about finding out why. He would just throw himself at me, look me in the eye as if to say “I am here, remember? Always.” True enough, their eyes have the power to speak a great language. And I believe he has nothing but pure love for me.

Sure, we have had our share of issues. He has never clicked with any of my friends. He has never liked socializing. He has always been an introvert. He does not have an ounce of regard for strangers. He is overly jealous. Very moody.

And yet despite everything, I still love the boy.

Did I say he was territorial too? My other sister, the third oldest, could not tolerate that about him and it even led to a point where he physically hurt her. Soon after, he got kicked out.

And yet despite everything, I still love the boy.

I stood by his side, even going to great lengths to still provide him everything he needed. Because of that, my sister disowned me. He was the reason she and I had a personal strife. We still do.

It has been two years since he and I started living separately. Only physically, mind you. Our hearts have always belonged to each other. My heart is for him, especially since he needs me now more than anything – his uncontrolled behavior and health problems are apparently taking its toll on his living condition.

And this is the source of my depression these days.

To make matters worse, the very person whom I first solicited emotional and spiritual support from and whom I expected would respond positively (considering!), only turned out to be apathetic about the whole situation just because this boy’s kind, or so he thinks and insists, HAS. NO. SOUL. “So, what’s the point of praying for him?”

That, ladies and gentlemen, has left me stunned.

You know, today, when I visited the boy at his place, I looked at his eyes and I felt the love tug at me. Theophile Gautier had the right words to how I felt this morning, and that’s “Who can believe that there is no soul behind those luminous eyes!”

Thank God for sisters, though. By this I meant, Jing. The part I really do not like the most is him going to rehab, but God knows, he has to. And soon he will. Jing and I are making sure he does. And she is willing to help me with the finances. Gosh, I love her. She does not know I do, for I have never been so vocal about it, but I hope she gets hints. Just recently, Jing wrote a letter addressed to the whole family:


That never fails to bring me to tears. I am very grateful that she understands the love I have for THE BOY. I pray others will do, too.

(Related Post: Question 3 )

18 thoughts on “Question 1223

  1. The answer to the question is .. “that I am always right!”.
    Sentimental stories like this splits me into two. My “better half” is an active peta supporter so I would say every being is entitled to the freedom they deserve & my sympathy will be towards “The Boy”. Well my remaining half do have utmost sympathy for your hurt being. How dare he?

  2. “The boy” deserves to be loved and understood from people like you. If other people can’t understand him, ikaw na lang ang umintindi sa kanila. I pray for him, for you, and your family

  3. Wow…I didn’t see that coming Addie! Everyone deserves to be loved and, often, we hurt people because we too have been hurt. It must be difficult for those who surround you and love you to see someone else hurting you, but only you can make that decision about whether or not they are still worth loving. For the rest of us, we just keep praying for you both. :)

  4. Life is complicated Bro ! Fight through it and reach the light…. Believe in yourself always :) The blog is amazing ! I am following you to read more from you. Love xx

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